Roger's Song
by OneLastRefrain
Summary: PostRENT fic - [Chapter 5 finally updated] "He had known things would always come down to this. There was no way in escaping the disease their fates were both destined to."
1. Chapter 1 Christmas Bells Are Ringing

Title: My Song Rating: PG-13 for general themes of the play. Drug use/AIDS/Profanity Note: Post-RENT Mimi/Roger Maureen/Joanne  
  
Chapter One: Christmas Bells Are Ringing  
  
He had known things would always come down to this. There was no way in escaping the disease their fates were both destined to. Medicine wasn't going to allow you to live forever when you were struggling with AIDS. And truthfully he never expected any miracles. He just had always prayed that he wouldn't still be around to watch it, watch his love die.  
  
It was rounding their third Christmas together when Roger noticed Mimi's sickness rise. It was quickly catching up with her as much as she didn't want to believe it and inside Roger knew that they had to make the best of their limited time left together.  
  
About three years ago Roger was on the verge of twisted thoughts after April's suicide. The image of April sprawled out across their bathroom floor, chrisom stained sink, and the thick coat of blood on the floor was too much for him to handle. That was until Mimi had put meaning to his life, blossomed a part of him he thought died when April passed. She showed him a new sense of love, soul, and genuine happiness that he never imagined he'd ever feel. It was hard to still imagine the energetic and sassy Mimi he had fell in love with as he laid beside her at night listening to her shallow breaths and weak dry coughs. It wasn't fair to watch someone so beautiful and innocent die.  
  
Roger, unlike the others, knew this would be their last Christmas as a whole family. Not Mark nor Maureen or Joanne were about to realize how quickly Mimi's illness was catching up with her. And though Roger would give up his life for her, he knew his time would be coming soon enough.  
  
Everyday that passed left Roger feeling a tiny bit more drained from the last, a little bit weaker. He always covered it up with not getting enough sleep the night before. Inside he knew it wasn't the lack of rest. No matter how hard he felt like giving up in defeat, crawling into a ball and bawling like a sissy, he knew he couldn't. He had to be strong for her, strong for them. He wasn't about to let his family die.  
  
Roger sat in the kitchen at the loft, skimming over the morning paper, not all too much paying attention as to what he was reading, his thoughts drifting to wonder what was stocked in the refrigerator. Dressed in a lanky green sweater and his usual stripped sweat pants, he took a sip of his coffee, making a disgusted face at the bitter liquid. Mark could never make coffee for his life, he mused before standing up and walking over to the sink, depositing the coffee down the drain shaking his head at the wasted caffeine. Placing the mug in the sink he turned around not expecting to be face to face with the camera lense of Mark's camera.  
  
"Merry Christmas Eve!" Mark said overly excited, as usual as Roger stared blankly at him.  
  
"It's eight in the morning. It's not Christmas eve until evening actually." Roger scowled grumpily as a matter of fact-ly with a grim smirk on his face before making a suave move, ducking under Mark's camera and escaping behind him. Mark sighed and turned off his camera holding it over his shoulder lazily.  
  
"Where's your holiday spirit Mr. Scrooge?" He joked around with him.  
  
"It was poisoned by your coffee." Roger responded slyly before walking out of the kitchen and heading down the hall before opening the door quietly to Mimi and his room, taking a few gentle steps trying to avoid the creaky wood floor boards that would send a chilling screech through his tired bones.  
  
Walking over to his bedside he stood their for a moment before slowly maneuvering down sitting on the edge of the bed, observing Mimi's peaceful figure. She looked healthier then yesterday. Surely, she had her good days and bad. Selfishly Roger was hoping she'd be up to going out today. He hadn't left the loft for about five days now and if he didn't get out soon he knew he'd scream. He just couldn't bear to leave her side and then fear arriving back and finding her dead, like April. Though April's death was unexpected, he always blamed himself for not seeing the signs. Maybe he could of saved her from herself...  
  
His thoughts of April were pushed aside as he felt Mimi stir under the heave of covers. He couldn't help but wonder if she could breathe under all the blankets on top of her. Unraveling herself from the blankets a bit she ran her hand over her forehead, eyes still shut. He couldn't help but notice how thin she was getting. He bet he could curl his pinkie and thumb around her wrist with no struggle what so ever. But she'd always laugh and say he had big hands.  
  
Like her father..  
  
He slowly moved his hand to hers that had settled along the pillow next to her, taking her small fragile hand in his. She flinched a bit and he cursed not meaning to startle her. Watching her eyes slowly open her lips formed into a small grin, "Jeez Rog, trying to give me heart failure?" She joked lightly with him though he felt now guilty as hell for such a little thing.  
  
"Sorry." He responded sheepishly, "Didn't mean to scare you." He soothed before kicking off his worn out slippers and flung his legs over the side of the bed laying next to her. Noticing she was shivering a bit he was glad the sun was pouring into the room. Taking a mental note to turn up the heat he knew that would lead to paying money he nor Mark didn't have. They could barely pay for the rent each month.  
  
Entwining his fingers with hers, he used his free hand to wrap the blankets more tightly around Mimi who quickly protested. "I'm fine.." She murmured voice a bit hoarse.  
  
"You should keep warm, Meems'." He spoke, eyes showing concern. It didn't matter how sick she was, she was still stubborn as hell.  
  
"I'm fine. Promise." She tried to reassure him.  
  
Roger sighed lightly in defeat with a dim frown before turning it into a masked smile that wasn't much but would hopefully bring a little light into the room that seemed to be turning into death itself. "Merry Christmas Eve."  
  
A small grin played across Mimi's face. "You too." She responded, "Wow..it's Christmas already. This year went by...so fast." She said slowly as she stared up at Roger, eyes softened.  
  
"Yeah I know. It really did." He agrees with her. "How are you feeling?" Roger asked before pushing a few loose strands of hair from her face and behind her ear.  
  
She gave him a timid shrug in respond. "Better then yesterday...a bit cramped from laying here."  
  
"Feel like going out? We can get you dressed and bundled up and go get a Christmas tree. Mark volunteered me." Roger grinned silently praying she'd want to go out. "Only if you feel up to it though...it just snowed last night. Not too much but a coding.."  
  
She thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah...it'd be good to get out of this bed." She responded with a small smile.  
  
Relived that she was feeling up to going out, he couldn't wait to get out of the loft. "Great." He smiled brightly before placing a small kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Roger gently sat her up in a sitting position with him, holding her in his arms protectingly. As long as she was there, in his mind no-one could take her away from him. Kissing the top of her head as she rested into him he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. After all, it was Christmas, the best time of the year.  
  
She stretched her arms out and rolled her neck a bit trying to get rid of the cramping feeling. "I have to warn you, Mark's loose with his camera." He smirked a bit before standing up and going over to a small dresser to find some more clothes for her.  
  
Mimi let out a small giggle wrapping her arms around her, fingers clutched tightly over the matted wool sweater, covering her hands. "When is he not?"  
  
"True." Roger responded glad she sounded a bit more like her old-self though he knew she was probably acting the best she could for his sake. Wandering back over with a long pair of socks for her and another fleece sweater he sat back down on the edge of the bed, handing her the sweater, "Here put this on over that."  
  
Mimi stared at him, "Do you want to suffocate me?" She raised her eyebrows. She already had on two tee shirts under her wool sweater.  
  
"Hey. It's really cold outside and you have to keep warm." Roger said arm still stretched out handing it to her.  
  
"I won't be able to fit it on over this! It makes me look fat!" She pouted with a small laugh that turned into a hoarse cough. Roger smiled a bit and patted her back. "You won't look fat. You'll look warm now put it on."  
  
Giving in, she pulled his large sweater over her head and flipped her long curls back behind her ears. "Okay now that I'll be sweating.." She started but Roger shut her up with another kiss before wrapping his arms around her, lifting her out of the heave of blankets and back on the bed, grabbing the socks and slipping them on but not before taking a hold of her foot and tickling it.  
  
"Roger!" She let out a small laugh as she kicked out a bit pushing him away. Smiling he let go slipped on her pair of boots and stood up.  
  
"Maureen and Joanne should be over with Collins for a bit. They'll be glad to see you out and about." He said before Mimi stood up, a bit shakily at first. He wrapped his arms around her to let her get her footing.  
  
"Thanks." She mumbled with a smile before looking up, standing on her tip toes and giving him a kiss. "Okay let's go."  
  
Roger wrapped his arm around her and headed out of the bedroom convinced it was going to be a Merry Christmas after all.

A/N: Like? Don't like? Reviews are awesome and make my day!


	2. Chapter 2 And It's Beginning to Snow

Chapter 2: And It's Beginning To Snow  
  
December 24th. 10am Eastern Standard Time - 1998  
  
"I love this time of the year." Mimi spoke as her and Roger walked down the street towards the usual Christmas tree vender on Avenue B. On top of the two sweaters, Roger had also added his jacket on Mimi to shield the bitter cold air.  
  
"I don't. I hate the cold." He responded, arm wrapped around her waist loosely.  
  
"Yeah, me too, but the holiday I mean.." She stuttered a little bit over her words, leaning into him a bit as they walked. Her head was throbbing and her body ached but she pushed aside the thought of pain, wanting to make the best of the day for Roger at least. "You know...this is going to be our last Christmas together." She said quietly knowing it was probably the wrong thing to say.  
  
Roger slowed down his pace at walking and looked down at her, "Hey...don't say that. I don't want to discuss this now..." He quickly said shaking his head a bit.  
  
Mimi didn't look at him but stared straight ahead of her. "You never want to talk about it." She responded, again lowly her tone a bit bitter, a tiny bit colder then she had meant it to come out.  
  
"Another day..." He started before dead panning - voice drifting into the air. Mimi fell silent a bit agitated. Another day but today... She remembered that quite clearly - three Christmas's ago.  
  
No day but today.  
  
"One day it will be too late." She whispered to herself barely audible.  
  
She knew it was hard for him to accept what their futures were going to amount to, but she decided it would be best not to say more.  
  
"Hey, you want to get something to eat at The Life?" Roger asked breaking the silence between them and looked down at her offering a grin.  
  
Mimi shook her head, "I'm not hungry but if you want to we can."  
  
A dim frown amounted on his lips, "You haven't eaten in about a week, Meems'."  
  
She shrugged, "Don't worry, I'll eat when I'm hungry."  
  
Roger stared at her for a brief moment as she looked away across the street towards the empty lot that was filled with tree's resting on their sides and along the walls. He knew she had lost a drastic amount of weight but forcing her to eat, wasn't the easiest thing to do. Sighing he dismissed the subject, "Promise you'll-" He stared but got caught off by the smile that rose on Mimi's face before she turned to him.  
  
"Hey, It's beginning to snow."  
  
Roger managed to grin weakly at her before she kissed his cheek. "Come on." She said grabbing his hand in hers and starting across the street as white crystals danced around them.  
  
Tossing a stack load of old lyrics and useless film plans into the wood burner, Mark rubbed his hands together next to the hot heat that he prayed would start to warm up the living room. Sitting down on the area rug he turned the camera on and turned around towards the others hoping to capture the moment behind the lense.  
  
December 24th 11 PM Eastern Standard Time, it was hard to believe this year went by so fast. A blanket of snow now covered a inch on the ground and flurries were still falling across the ebony sky illuminated by the full moon.  
  
"Should we put a angel or a star on the tree?" Maureen asked as she hovered over the pine tree, that Roger and Mimi had brought home with them that afternoon. It was almost painful to look at her as she was dressed in a vibrant green and red skirt blouse outfit. Joanne knelt down, hair flowing over her face as she continued to go through a small cardboard box of old ornaments they would dig out of the loft every year in attempt to bring in some Christmas spirit into the loft.  
  
"Does it really matter?" Roger remarked lounged back on the couch, arms around Mimi who was prompted up in his lap, head leaned back, tiredly, on his shoulder.  
  
"How bout an angel? We can all use an angel to look over us." Collins responded from the kitchen as he brewed a batch of coffee. Roger prayed it would be better then Mark's creation this morning.  
  
"Angel it is." Maureen responded cheerfully as Joanne handed her the fragile angel tree topper and placed it on top carefully glad the tree wasn't much taller then she.  
  
"It's done!" Maureen yelled suddenly causing them all to jump a bit. "Plug the lights in Pookie?" She asked Joanne who was kneeling down on the ground close to the electric extension cord.  
  
"One...two...three!" Joanne exclaimed before plugging it in. Maureen shrieked in awe placing her hands together as they all observed the multi colored lights on the tree.  
  
Mark stood up before turning the camera around in attempt to get some footage of himself. "The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree of 1998." Roger made some remark along the extent of a 'hey!'. Spinning the camera in on the tree he smiled to himself.  
  
"It's gorgeous. Good job you two." Mimi exclaimed with a smile as she stared at the tree. Her last Christmas tree.. Roger kissed the side of her head as he gazed at the bright lights that lit up the room along with the burner. The rainbow colors illuminated on to the ceiling above them almost looking like multi colored stars.  
  
"Merry Christmas everyone!" Maureen smiled before sitting back down next to Joanne wrapping an arm around her. Everyone mumbled a Merry Christmas back tiredly.  
  
Mark focused the camera on Mimi and Roger who didn't seem to take notice of it at all, too pre-occupied with one another, whispering in each others ears, kissing, and giggling like teenagers. It was the first time in awhile Mark felt like things were back to how they always were.  
  
He then moved the focus from the two to Joanne and Maureen who were both staring at the tree, talking quietly amongst themselves. Joanne seemed to take notice of Mark and hid behind Maureen's big head who didn't seem to care as she beamed up at him with a smile. Smiling a bit he shut the camera off before placing it on the coffee table.  
  
Collins, who wore a limp santa hat walked in and passed around coffee mugs to everyone and held his cup out, "A toast to a very Merry Christmas." He grinned softly.  
  
"And a Happy New Year!" Mark added holding his mug up into the air as he stood beside Collins.  
  
"To health." Roger added from the other side of the room.  
  
Mimi nodded resting her head back on to his shoulder and raised her own cup, "And love."  
  
"To me!" Maureen squealed out of nowhere smiling brightly. Everyone stared at her blankly, "Hey! I'm just kidding guys... To family!"  
  
Everyone took a sip of their coffee and made themselves comfortable around the warm fire as they awaited the morning hours of Christmas day.  
  
A/N: Hmm a short chapter but alright. Well I already have about 4 chapters written and I do have some sort of direction. Go me! My muse is alive! I'm not updating till I get reviews. Hehe bribbing now I am. =] 


	3. Chapter 3 Happy New Year

A/N: Another short chapter but it gets better! This is some much needed fluff! =D  
  
Chapter 3: Happy New Year  
  
December 31st 11:45pm Eastern Standard Time - 1998  
  
"Are you having any luck?" Roger asked Mark as he walked into the living room as he struggled to get the cork out of a bottle of 'god awful' champagne.  
  
"Hey..I'm trying here." Mark scowled as he fooled around the antenna that came from the back of their 1990 television that surprisingly was in color.  
  
"Well you have fifteen minutes. I'm counting on watching the ball drop." Roger said before sitting on the couch besides Mimi who was laying down on the side, fast asleep.  
  
"Almost..." Mark mumbled as he tried switching one of the antenna's to the left then back to the right again before losing the fuzzy picture all together. "Crap.."  
  
"Maybe if you put some aluminum foil on..." Roger smirked taking a sip of his glass before placing it back on the table, sitting back and gazing at Mimi.  
  
Mark rolled his eyes, "Then I'll look like I'm scared the aliens are going to get me." He joked with a grim tone as he stared at the fuzzy TV as if the picture would just appear for him.  
  
"Don't hide the fact that you are. Wasn't it last week you woke me up saying there was something under your bed?" Roger laughed with a smile on his face looking back to Mark glad he was across the room.  
  
Mark shot him a dirty look, "It was a rat! And besides, I had a...bad dream...I got it!" He said quickly changing the subject as he finally got some what a picture of Times Square. "Next year we should go there instead of doing 'this'. You know Collins, Maureen, and Joanne are there..somewhere.." He remarked before standing up slowly and backing away from the television.  
  
Sitting down in their ratty looking recliner he grabbed Roger's glass of champagne finishing it with one big gulp before making a satisfied, "ahh..." and smirking.  
  
Roger rolled his eyes. "I wasn't finished with that."  
  
"Well now you are." Mark pointed out in an uh-duh manner. His eyes moved from Roger to Mimi before nodding a bit his way, "You going to wake her up?"  
  
"I am awake." A tired voice came from Mimi's whose head was resting in Roger's lap. He ran a hand through her spiral curls. "Couldn't sleep even if I tried with you too blabbing." She responded light heartedly.  
  
Roger and Mark just smiled. Mimi slowly sat up before letting out a small yawn. "What time is it?" She asked stretching her arms a bit before wrapping them around Roger who pulled her back into his lap.  
  
"Three minutes left of 1998 you guys." Mark spoke, "It's been a great year.."  
  
"It has." Roger nodded along with Mimi who rubbed her eyes to clear her vision as she gazed towards the television. They all sat there in silence awaited the balls drop.  
  
When the countdown began they all chimed in, "10...9...8...7...6...5...4....3...2...!"  
  
Darkness filled the room as the lights flickered off and the television died. "The power blows." Mark said simply before the three of them bursted out into pure laughter.  
  
"Happy New Year!" Mark yelled trying to stop his laughing as they all gazed at one another's shadowy figure as their eyes finally adjusted and the moon light outside drained into the room lighting it up.  
  
"Happy New Year!" Roger and Mimi both said brightly.  
  
The sound of horns blowing and firecrackers echoed in the distance. Mark grabbed a hold of his camera and quickly caught Mimi and Roger sharing a Happy New Years kiss with a sly smirk on his face.  
  
Note: Reviews make my day! ... The next few chapters won't be too happy...at all. -evil grin- 


	4. Chapter 4 I Should Tell You

Chapter 4: I Should Tell You

A/N: Rated R for cutting. If you're sensitive on this subject I'd advise skipping though the italics.

January 8th. 11pm Eastern Standard Time - 1999

_Roger stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He hadn't recognized who he had become - a man so sad, filled with so much anger. How dare someone take away the one person who he loved so dearly? What did he do to deserve the heart-ache he felt every single night? It was enough having April's suicide on top of his back, and now he had Mimi's too. _

_His cheeks were stained with trails of tears that he had shed. Enough was enough, he didn't want to do it anymore. _

_He glanced at the time on his watch which read 1am. Mark should be asleep by now. Taking off the watch he placed it on the sink before running the water. He had it all planned out. The razors. The bathtub filled with ice cold water. April was to thank for that idea. A twisted smirk fell upon his face._

_This isn't my face..._

_He sighed and picked up a cheap bic razor he had found on the sink before observing it in the light._

_He wasn't scared. _

_Taking the cold metal in the palm of his hand he stared at it._

_These aren't my hands... _

_Using one quick vertical movement on his wrist, he watched the skin peel open and blood start to trickle down his arm before splattering on to the bathroom floor._

_This isn't my fucking blood..._

_It didn't hurt though. Not one bit. _

_He did this several more time to his left arm getting pure satisfaction of watching the chrisom fluid trickle down his arm. He almost felt a tad bit guilty knowing that Mark was going to be the one to find him. _

_Maybe he'd get it on film... He thought cruelly trying to escape the feeling. Smirking to himself he looked back into the mirror. Mimi stood beside him looking beautiful as ever. He could feel her cold hand place themselves on his shoulders as he made one last large slit into his right arm. _

_This wasn't his beautiful girlfriend... _

_Walking over to the bathtub he turned on the water with his right hand. Ice cold water. Filling the bathtub, he stopped it just as it was about to over flow on to the tiling. Looking back towards Mimi she was gone._

_But it wasn't her at all. _

_Locking the bathroom door he was too lazy to shed his clothing. It added to the effect, being clothed. Just like April did. He could still see himself remove her body from the bloody bathtub and place her on the floor, clothes attached to her pale slim figure. _

_He lowered himself into the bathtub before leaning his head back on the tub. Picking up the razor he made one last deep cut into his right vein before closing his eyes and welcoming the darkness.._

Waking up in a cold sweat, Roger sat up quickly trying to calm his breathing and his heart rate which felt as if it would jump out of his chest. Pulling back the covers a bit he observed his wrists which were completely fine.

"Fucking nightmare." He scowled under his breath before looking towards his left where Mimi was expected to be laying. Instead he found the bed was empty. Rubbing his head he leaned his head back on the back board and placed his hand over his chest to steady his breathing a bit. He couldn't believe what he had just dreamt...Obviously my sub-conscious is suicidal - peachy, he thought to himself before swinging his legs over the bed slapping on the cold floor. He was too lazy to find where his slippers were...

Standing up slowly to get his bearings, he started out of the bedroom and into the hall before gazing where a small light was lit in the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes in attempt to clear his vision he took a few more steps into the kitchen seeing Mimi sitting at their small table, a wool blanket wrapped around her shoulders, gazing downwards at a small glass of water.

"Meems'?" He whispered softly so he wouldn't startle her. Her gaze lifted from the glass to meet Roger's eyes.

"Hey..." She whispered her voice drifting a bit into the night. Roger walked over to her before sitting down in the seat next to her.

"What time is it?" Roger mumbled groggily.

"2:30." Mimi responded, "Couldn't sleep... why are you up?" She asked curiously lifting her brows a tiny bit.

Roger paused searching his head for an answer. "Just woke up..you weren't in bed so I figured I'd see what was wrong.." He started. Anything sounded better then 'I had a nightmare that I killed myself..and oh...you were dead too.'

"Nothing...nothing I was just thinking." Mimi responded quickly shaking her head a bit.

Roger leaned toward over the table with his elbows before fixing the blanket around her that was slowly falling from her shoulders. "Thinking about?"

"About what's going to happen a few months..weeks...days from now." She whispered softly eyes locking on his. Roger pulled away from her entrance and looked down towards the table. She was cornering him into talking about 'it'. He knew it..

"Mimi.." Roger started gaze focuses on her glass of water.

"Please..we really need to...we need to talk about it...." She said just above a whisper and by her tone, Roger could tell she was frustrated with him. Was it so selfish of him not want to hear Mimi talk about dying? When he didn't respond her heard Mimi groan in annoyance.

Roger slowly looked up to her, the last thing he wanted was her mad at him. "Tommorrow."

"Now." Mimi said sternly eyes glistened with threatening tears.

Roger let out a defeated sigh before standing up. "It's cold. We'll talk about it in bed." He reasoned with her offering her his hand, still trying to think of a way out of it, though he knew clearly he was at a dead end.

Mimi took his hand and slowly stood up. Roger could see how weak and fragile she was getting by just holding on to her skeletal hand. He let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her waist before lifting her off her feet and cradling her in his arms.

Usually Mimi would protest but tonight she was too drained to do anything but wrap her arms around his neck in reassurance that if he dropped her, he'd be going down too.

Heading back into their bedroom he placed her on the bed before crawling on himself and pulling the thick layers of blankets over them. Cuddling close to her he kissed her forehead before taking a deep breath.

"I should tell you...I should tell you how much you mean to me." She whispered tracing her hand over his cold cheek.

"I know..." Roger whispered back forcing a small grin. "I should tell you... I don't know what I'm going to do...without you."

"You'll move on..." Mimi responded softly feeling tears well up in her own eyes. "You'll light someone else's candle.."

Roger closed his eyes feeling tears threaten to fall. He didn't want to cry in front of her...he wouldn't cry in front of her. He swallowed hard and shook his head. "I don't think I can...I don't want to."

"Yes...yes you can Roger...you'll do it for me. I don't want to leave you without knowing you'll be okay.." She whispered a tear falling down her cheek. "I love you Rog...I want you to be happy.."

"I can't be happy with you dead!" He shouted in a hushed whisper suddenly causing her to flinch. It was so easy to accept anger over pain...

"You'll find someone else to love...you have so many people who care about you..." She whispered softly noticing the tears in Roger's eyes.

"You sound like Mark." He muttered shaking his head. "They don't matter to me..you're the only one Mimi.."

Mimi stared at him knowing how hard this was for him. She was only glad it wasn't the other way around.

"Promise me you'll move on. Promise me you won't do anything stupid...don't do anything stupid like April.."

Roger shook his head choked up in his tears as he listened to her. "I can't." He breathed out past the large ball in his throat.

"You want me to be happy? Well I won't be until you promise me you'll be okay! Do you want me to suffer more?" She hissed before taking a deep shaky breath, entwining their fingers together under the blankets. "Please..Roger...I'm so sick of holding on because of you.." She spoke through her tears that were now sailing down her cheeks. "I can't hold on much longer.."

Roger closed his eyes for several moments trying to take in everything. What was he suppose to do? Tell her he'd move on after she died and be the happiest person alive trying to pick up the next girl he saw? No. Things weren't going to work out that way. Not able to think of anything else to say he slowly nodded reluctantly squeezing her hand gently.

"Thank you.." She whispered through her tears before wrapping her arms around him, cuddling into him, hiding her face under his scruffy chin.

Roger held her close to him and wept softly unable to hold back the tears he had been wanting to cry for years now. He felt her fall asleep in his arms minutes later and finally gave in as sleep washed over him.

Sleep would rest his tired body but he knew sleep wouldn't rest his mind...he was too trapped in his tormented thoughts too be saved.

A/N: Review rock my socks. Oh! And I also have about 3 more chapters after this completed so review and you get more. Be a nice RENT head..


	5. Chapter 5 Another Day

Chapter 5: Another Day

January 15th. 10am Eastern Standard Time - 1999

The past few weeks had went by quickly and to everyone's surprise, Mimi's health seemed to be steadying out a bit, on the good side. She had been out and about with Roger, to The Life Café, and almost acting like her old self again. Collins told Roger on Christmas night it was a miracle from up above, from Angel. Ever since the cold Christmas Eve night when Maureen and Joanne had found Mimi huddled in the park and brought her back to the loft, they had proclaimed Angel was her guardian angel. Everyone believe Angel would help her pull through again. Roger, however, wasn't sure what to believe. He would always see the weak look in Mimi's eyes no matter how hard he tried to shield it away. He would always catch a painful glimpse of her frown or hear a muffled cough she was trying to hold back late at night. Mimi wasn't going to get better and either was he..

Mark and Roger sat in the living room of the loft. Mark was going through a batch of his old films and looking at the negatives. Roger was attempting to carry a tune as he fooled around with different tunes on his fender guitar.

Roger who was getting awfully frustrated with how things were going, grabbed the sheet of music he had written crumpled it in small ball. "Fuck it. I quit." He scowled before chucking the paper across the room.

Hearing a groan and a "Hey!" Roger looked up at Mark who was rubbing the back of his head. "You mind? I'm looking at something." He muttered pulling his attention back to his camera who rolled a clip of three New Year's Eve ago.

Placing his guitar down on the table he stood up and walked over, gazing down at the screen over Mark's shoulder. "Wow..that was a while ago." He said watching Mimi and himself drinking a glass of champagne as they were attempting to get back into their building that Benny Coffin the Third had padlocked. Bastard.

"Three years." Mark muttered eyes glued to the screen. Maureen was now on the phone with Joanne begging for her forgiveness.

"Pretty depressing." He murmured eyes locked on Mimi. He missed how things use to be and if he could rewind back to then, he knew he'd be different. For one he would have never left Mimi to face her disease alone. Pulling himself away from Mark and the camera he checked the time. "Jeez it's nearly ten. Mimi's not up yet.." He responded before heading into the hall. Mark gazed up towards Roger for a brief moment before looking back to her camera.

"She's probably tired. Let her sleep..." He mumbled not really sure of what he was saying and if Roger had even heard. He assumed not when he heard the door to the bedroom close a moment or two later.

"Meem's? You awake?" Roger whispered softly as he walked into the room and slowly made his way over to the bed. Mimi was laying on her side, face drained of color, blankets wrapped tightly around her. Roger sat on the edge of the bed next to her staring at her for a moment before placing the back of his hand to her cheek.

She was so hot. "Mimi..." He whispered, leaning down closer to her pushing a piece of hair away from her eye as she shifted her legs a bit but made no attempt to move much more. Her lips parted as she let out a soft groan.

His heart began to race and he felt a sense of nausea in the back of his throat. She was fine yesterday....perfectly fine, he thought to himself before swallowing hard knowing she had a high fever. His hand rested on the blanket where her shoulder was and he could feel her radiant heat vibrating from her body.

"Shit." Roger whispered sitting there, thoughts racing as what to do. Seeing her eyes slowly slit open she stared at him, almost like she wasn't sure of who he was. Her eyes softened a bit and she parted her lips to talk but nothing came out except a shallow breath of air. Leaning down close to her he rested his hand on her cheek, "Hey baby..." He whispered a bit choked up.

"Rog-" She started but got cut off by a violent cough.

Roger pursed his lips together for a brief moment. "I need to go get Mark...we have to get you to a hospital." He spoke, voice shaking.

Mimi stared at him feeling tears well up in her eyes, "No...no..." She whispered. Roger knew she didn't want to go in the hospital - not like Angel. But Roger was able to grasp a small amount of hope that just maybe they could do something to help her.

"Shh...shh...it's alright Meems'. They'll help you there...I need to get Mark...I'll be right back." Roger managed to say softly, eyes filled with tears. Mimi couldn't do much to protest but give into his wishes. She closed her eyes as Roger faded slowly from her view.

He knew this day would come, for months, but now he'd do anything for just one more. Just another day...

A/n: Wow. Sorry for the delay. I forgot I finished this fic since my laptop crashed and I thought I lost it. Thankfully it was saved in my journal… but yeah.. the more reviews the quicker you get an update!


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